One Final Gift

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He became
something I could not
even like.
Something I suppose
he always was,
but my naïve heart
and mind
could not see,
and as I grew,
refused to see.
Yet time and again
I found myself back
in his embrace,
lying next to him
in a bed only
slept in.
He held me close
and kissed me
like he meant it.
Spoke sweet nothings
that truly became
sweet nothings.
And yet time would pass,
And longing would grow,
And we would find ourselves
tangled once again
in the same old routine
until it finally broke.
Years and stages pass…
Lives grow empty
and then complete,
and then in disarray.
The knowing glance,
The cool pretence,
Desire a decade old…
Beneath the silver glow,
immersed in an ocean
a reality away,
all self control
takes leave.
An awkward touch
and a brush of
hungry lips deprived
for countless years…
Hands and arms and legs
entwined,
and fates thrust forth
once again.
This sense of peace
and a circle complete,
lasts for bittersweet
moments…
Realizations dawn
and relief enters
a once incomplete heart.
Years spent pining,
tears wasted in vain.
Mere words and empty
confessions spilled,
drenched in darkness
and fermented courage.
He is not who I sought,
he is everything
I no longer want.
But I still remember fondly
his final gift of respect,
A gift I know he does not
give easily.
A gift that is the single thing
that has kept me from
loathing him
completely.

©Y.E.S 2013

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