I cannot end the illusion
Because the reality scares me more than I care to admit.
Fighting anger and this drifting existence,
It seems easier than being happy.
Stewing in week old clothes and eating liquorice for breakfast,
because I just don’t care anymore.
The dog sprawled beside me, sad brown eyes begging for at least a smile…
I don’t know if it’s him or me in more dire need of bathing,
And the truth is, it stopped mattering the second the thought began.
I have responsibilities,
The automaton in me allots empty minutes to these,
Leaving pained questions and lonely tears that shred even deeper into my core.
I can’t wake up and I can’t even sleep…
I’ve forgotten how to climb out from this.
Can someone tells me where you are when you sink past rock bottom?