Category Archives: Release

I Saw Red

I finally saw red
In the anger,
the desolation,
the idea of you and us.
I closed my eyes
and burning hot tears
ravaged my skin.
Without clenching,
Without screaming,
A surrendering motion…
And I saw red.
The finality
combined with a will
to stop.
I just want to be alone now.
I am alone,
With you or without you.
Just as
I AM
with you,
or without you.
So I see red,
and for the first time
I WILL stop
I WILL see
I WILL be
Complete.
For I am incomplete
with you,
not without.

©Y.E.S 2014

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It’s Human Nature

I must admit, I’m rubbernecking,
Curious as to what kind of egomaniacal, patriarchal, bullshit you’re regurgitating today.
The draw is like that of a terrible roadside collision:
Human nature gets the best of me and I cannot help but look at the certain disaster that will reveal itself to searching eyes.
And like that disaster that I don’t want to see, but do,
I always find myself returning to see what kind of deluded dramatic display you’ve written yourself into yet again,
With regard to none but yourself, how you crave the accreditation from those you believe to be your audience…
Could they, too, simply be incapable of averting their eyes?
Waiting for your inevitable crash and burn whilst silently laughing and shaking their heads at your blatant display of jackassery?

©Y.E.S 2013

Fully Empty

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I can write a thousand
words of anger,
Soak my poison to paper
with no end in sight,
Unleash my tormented army
of demons
and scream out my heart
until no sound emits.
I can give out a thousand
lashings,
Soak the bleeding wounds
with coarse rock salt,
Unleash the darkest
Goddess of war
and scream my battle cries
until victorious.
Yet I cannot find just one
word of love,
Absorb my rawest self
out of these cells
and release this untamed fury
from my breast.
No, you will not find that
day of passage,
There is no redemption to
be found in me,
You live a life spent cast out
into this limelight,
And die a death from which
one cannot be freed.

©Y.E.S 2013

A Fond Farewell…

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The more I know
The more I despise
Your ugly truth
Your sordid guise
I see your stain
Is everywhere
I know your mark
I loathe your stare
Leave blank your page
You hide behind
But I know your rhythm
and I know your kind
You run, you hide
But you leave a trail
So sick inside
Believing your tales
My prince, my pauper
My troubled whore
Fuck you…adieu
I need you no more.

©Y.E.S 2013

Untitled

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Self imposed prison
But how did I get here?
Locked in at sundown,
a never ending story.
Barrelled walls
Vaulted around my head
Fish eyed glass,
Impenetrable.
I can see it all –
but I can’t
I hear everything –
but I don’t.
Dervishly whirling
and pounding on my
own skull,
Currents of dry tears –
They won’t stop
their assault.
Masked faces float
before me,
Feigned concern forced
forth from the matriarch,
Tearing at flesh
with parched fingers
and devouring stolen
ammunition.
A mouthful of routine deceit
closes my eyes,
Open them to the
temporary cloak of day…

©Y.E.S 2013

 

My Darkness, Brighter Than Your Light

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You molested my darkness
With the harsh buzzing glow
Of your unnatural
Neon light.
Vacant promises
and pregnant pauses,
Always leaving me unnerved
as I tried to convince myself
to trust your frivolously
over zealous encroachment.
Silent words devoid of meaning
Laced with rotting emotion
Spewed forth from just one
of innumerable twisted shadows.
Raping my mind and stealing
my most inner sanctum,
Planting your festering illusion
and consuming all which
was not yours to take.
Vile troll, vapid monster,
Live in all your glorious filth!
I loathe the day I became
another soul wandering lost
in your labyrinth,
Armed with flames
I torched your brittle structure,
Smoked you out and
burnt it down, victorious!
Shrouded in my darkness,
Rid of your unnatural fluorescence,
My black light,
Brighter than any ray of your putrescence.

©Y.E.S 2013

One Final Gift

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He became
something I could not
even like.
Something I suppose
he always was,
but my naïve heart
and mind
could not see,
and as I grew,
refused to see.
Yet time and again
I found myself back
in his embrace,
lying next to him
in a bed only
slept in.
He held me close
and kissed me
like he meant it.
Spoke sweet nothings
that truly became
sweet nothings.
And yet time would pass,
And longing would grow,
And we would find ourselves
tangled once again
in the same old routine
until it finally broke.
Years and stages pass…
Lives grow empty
and then complete,
and then in disarray.
The knowing glance,
The cool pretence,
Desire a decade old…
Beneath the silver glow,
immersed in an ocean
a reality away,
all self control
takes leave.
An awkward touch
and a brush of
hungry lips deprived
for countless years…
Hands and arms and legs
entwined,
and fates thrust forth
once again.
This sense of peace
and a circle complete,
lasts for bittersweet
moments…
Realizations dawn
and relief enters
a once incomplete heart.
Years spent pining,
tears wasted in vain.
Mere words and empty
confessions spilled,
drenched in darkness
and fermented courage.
He is not who I sought,
he is everything
I no longer want.
But I still remember fondly
his final gift of respect,
A gift I know he does not
give easily.
A gift that is the single thing
that has kept me from
loathing him
completely.

©Y.E.S 2013

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It’s easy to write
When I’m angry,
So simple to
bleed out dry,
Everything streams
Out so clearly,
And then ebbs
When I don’t wish to die.
Plagued by creation,
Not many,
Plagued by this life
Are so few,
Close my eyes
I’m forsaken,
Closing my eyes
Just won’t do.
It’s easy to seethe
When you’re lying,
So simple to
Bury this dead,
Everything happens
When trying,
And then nothing
Shall happen instead.

©Y.E.S 2013

Liberation

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In pieces
I was
All over,
Scattered
In space
And time.
Everywhere
And nowhere
All at once.
Find me
And reassemble
With cheap
Intentions
And little
Skill.
Breathe these
Poor lies,
Breed this
Fetid life,
Inhabit your
House of glass
And heave
Your stones.
You’re trapped
Inside,
By your own
Device,
Now
I am free
To grow.

Y.E.S 2013