Laying almost next to me
He couldn’t be further away.
I feel the loneliness and my stomach digests the heartache,
He is always there, so close, but never close enough.
It’s empty and it’s nothing, but it’s everything I cannot speak…this silence.
Love like lies
Heaped in lazy masses
a contrived time set
And dispersed for no one
to lay claim to…
Only their creatress.
And she shall eat the
Not politely, not refined…
Trails of their ugly mess
spiral off her mask
Pool on the greedy surface
And ravaged by the
hours tucked away.
I cannot end the illusion
Because the reality scares me more than I care to admit.
Fighting anger and this drifting existence,
It seems easier than being happy.
Stewing in week old clothes and eating liquorice for breakfast,
because I just don’t care anymore.
The dog sprawled beside me, sad brown eyes begging for at least a smile…
I don’t know if it’s him or me in more dire need of bathing,
And the truth is, it stopped mattering the second the thought began.
I have responsibilities,
The automaton in me allots empty minutes to these,
Leaving pained questions and lonely tears that shred even deeper into my core.
I can’t wake up and I can’t even sleep…
I’ve forgotten how to climb out from this.
Can someone tells me where you are when you sink past rock bottom?