Monthly Archives: May 2013

When…

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When forever isn’t
long enough,
When it hurts so bad,
I still want more.
If it all stopped now,
You’re the only
one I see,
I close my eyes and
you’re reaching for me.
When mistakes Ive made
are all laid out,
When tomorrow never
really comes,
If the day grows black,
You are all I need,
I will close my eyes,
I will let it bleed.

©Y.E.S 2013

Crush

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I feel you inside
when you’re not even there…
Spaces so far between,
Wrongs so far
from being right,
But right is all I feel.
Wandering mind,
My thoughts astray…
This familiar path,
With a new destination…
Nothing more certain
than what appears
before me now.
But who would see
the right I see
in a pairing
oh so wrong?
I want your touch,
An ache so strong,
Nothing like I’ve
ever known before.
I want your taste,
Upon my lips…
Your grasp,
strong
against my back…
Your breath,
warm upon my shoulder.
Your eyes…
The look
I know I’ll find there,
This fire lit
Inside us, raging,
All fronts are
thrown aside.
Nothing matters,
Caution gone…
For one night
In your arms…

©Y.E.S 2013

Untitled

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Self imposed prison
But how did I get here?
Locked in at sundown,
a never ending story.
Barrelled walls
Vaulted around my head
Fish eyed glass,
Impenetrable.
I can see it all –
but I can’t
I hear everything –
but I don’t.
Dervishly whirling
and pounding on my
own skull,
Currents of dry tears –
They won’t stop
their assault.
Masked faces float
before me,
Feigned concern forced
forth from the matriarch,
Tearing at flesh
with parched fingers
and devouring stolen
ammunition.
A mouthful of routine deceit
closes my eyes,
Open them to the
temporary cloak of day…

©Y.E.S 2013

This is the first piece of which I am sure will be many, as I revisit a past that inevitably led to who I am today. A reflective study of my journey with Bi-Polar disorder.

The Versatile Blogger Award, Nominations

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1. Thanks:

I have to admit that I was quite surprised to receive not one, but two Versatile Blogger Award nominations this month! It was truly not something I expected in the infancy of my blog, and they have come from two bloggers whom I truly respect, therefore I am so deeply honoured to accept the nominations!

My first nomination came from Who Could Know Then, I thoroughly enjoy the beautifully melancholic poetry describing life and love with such a passionate intensity found in each post. His blog is well worth a read! Thank you so very much for this honour!

My second nomination came from Aimee at sixwordsblog. I was drawn immediately to the cathartic approach she has taken to her blog and have been deeply moved by her raw emotion and honesty as she deals with the suicide of her husband. Please do stop by and check her out, we can all benefit from a glimpse into this deeply misunderstood world. Thank you so much Aimee, not only for the nomination, but also for sharing your journey with us.

2. Tell 7 things about yourself:

i) I am really not very good at this sort of thing, I am horrible with taking compliments and have a tremendous amount of difficulty talking about myself.

ii) I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, but the past few years I have suffered from a severe case of writer’s block, I am just now finding my words again through this blog and my new approach to my journey through life.

iii) I love photography, I am as driven by this passion as much as I am by writing; all the images you will find attached to my writing are mine.

iv) I am a very proud mother and have learned that there is much truth and wisdom to be found in becoming a parent, as well as along the path which unfolds when this honour is bestowed upon you. My child is truly my world.

v) I prefer solitude to being surrounded by copious amounts of people.

vi) I love nature and find myself truly energized and inspired by her beauty and bounty, therefore I have chosen to live, basically, in the middle of nowhere, surrounded solely by the trees, the Earth and the sky in my cozy little abode.

vii) As an extension of my previous factoid, spiritually, I follow an eclectic pagan path and have from a very young age. As a child, I knew a young Native woman who shared with me her ancestral beliefs and introduced me to the Spirits of the trees and sky…she was not in my life for very long, but she helped guide me onto the path I have walked ever since.

3. Nominate 15 more blogs:

In no particular order, these are 15 blogs I enjoy reading and wish to nominate:

Retcon Poet

Thirty Summer 

The Better Man Project

SJ Writing

Gatsby’s Abandoned Children

kirstywirsty

The poetry of the Mind

Losing Cohesion

Basho and Jung

Memento Mori.inc

The Culture Monk

Poems & People

Darby Marioth

Spontaneous Creativity

burndiaries

Please do visit these talented writers!

My Darkness, Brighter Than Your Light

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You molested my darkness
With the harsh buzzing glow
Of your unnatural
Neon light.
Vacant promises
and pregnant pauses,
Always leaving me unnerved
as I tried to convince myself
to trust your frivolously
over zealous encroachment.
Silent words devoid of meaning
Laced with rotting emotion
Spewed forth from just one
of innumerable twisted shadows.
Raping my mind and stealing
my most inner sanctum,
Planting your festering illusion
and consuming all which
was not yours to take.
Vile troll, vapid monster,
Live in all your glorious filth!
I loathe the day I became
another soul wandering lost
in your labyrinth,
Armed with flames
I torched your brittle structure,
Smoked you out and
burnt it down, victorious!
Shrouded in my darkness,
Rid of your unnatural fluorescence,
My black light,
Brighter than any ray of your putrescence.

©Y.E.S 2013

To Learn…

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Always wanting
what we do not have,
But what happens
when we discover
we’ve had it all along?
When we toss
it all away
thinking the grass is greener?
It never is,
This, I know.
I’ve walked away
a thousand times,
In search of what?
I never know…
Always falling,
Always failing,
Always finding
that I know nothing at all…
I will always walk
a thousand miles,
In shoes that are mine alone.
I don’t mind the fall,
I don’t mind failing,
For I’ve learned,
I have it all.

©Y.E.S 2013

Beautiful Desecration

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Paint me permanently beautiful,
this unadorned hide,
I am not but all I am,
Of which you’ll find inside.
A sting, a tear the burn familiar,
piercing just into my flesh,
My desecration has begun,
In this moment shall I rest.
My eyes roll back, I bite my lip,
You see, this isn’t pain for me,
A ritual long ago begun,
Pieces wrapped in filigree…

©Y.E.S 2013