Monthly Archives: February 2013

Book of Dreams

Nights spent alone,
Were no longer empty,
Dreams that wouldn’t come,
Flourished under his spell.

“Close your eyes little one,
Goodnight Tinuviel,
We’ll be together soon,
Just wait for me, you’ll see”

He becomes her Beren,
A love forged so deeply,
It couldn’t possibly be broken,
Oh, but how that fear persists…

Star crossed and soul bound,
Ethereal love most potent,
A beautiful and timeless tree,
Cloaks spread beneath.

In arms so fervently welcoming,
Under touch so tentative,
Curious, exploring, healing,
The dream weaves a new reality.

Bodies entwined,
Lost completely in each other,
Nothing can distinguish,
That there was ever more than one.

Eyes flutter,
The dream slips away,
Add it to the collection,
In the Book of Dreams.

Y.E.S 2013

3:40 am

Awakened by something that has been absent since he first arrived in her life, she blindly reaches for her clock to confirm the hour. Realizing, that for the first time, she’d do anything to rouse him from sleep, reach out to him and talk, expel her laments, but that is no longer in the realm of possibilities. It seems as though a million moments were wasted, even though millions more were plucked lovingly from the here and now, even the in between.

A beautiful silver cord, woven of dreams and fantasy, reality and necessity, had done what seemed impossible and stretched out between the miles, connecting and binding two lost souls. At first, her walls were impenetrable, but swiftly and expertly, he brought them down. The truth is, she WANTED them down. She wanted HIM to bare his mighty battle axe and destroy them, bit by bit, leaving her raw and exposed, only for him, to show him, and PROVE to him, that once and for all she was ready, she WANTED to be standing there before him, naked, bleeding her past, vulnerable, open and prepared to fight her demons to the death, and give him the place in her soul she had long ago buried and mourned.

For her soul, she no longer mourns, he had repaired it, gently, lovingly, with the beautiful cord of silver connecting them, he expertly wound it round and round the tattered remains. Making it better, stronger: he healed. Became one with it. Removed the vile, blackened emptiness and replaced it with an eternity of love, for lifetimes to come, indestructible to time and fate…or so she foolishly believed…

That perfectly beautiful silver cord now waits expectantly for the occupant at the other end to return. Floating weakly in the in between, it dies more with each passing minute. The beauty and trust that had been its origin slowly fades away and that cord becomes dull and tattered. It floats blindly in the dreams that have turned grey…

Y.E.S 2013

Torn

She sits alone in her cave after the morning tasks are completed. She ponders all that has transpired over the last few days. Adorned with beautiful jewels of love and promises, bearing the protection of the Dark Raven Goddess. But still, there she sits, alone, confused, hurt…betrayed.

Somewhere across many lands and bodies of water, he sits on his throne without thought or compassion for the damage he’s done. His collection of conquests, his poorly veiled lies…it has all come crashing down on him as his bride bares the proof. What lies does he breathe in defence? The same lies he’s uttered to each and every one of his conquests? Or did he collapse and bare her the truth of his soul, the soul that was supposed to belong to the girl in the cave? The very same girl he led to believe was his saviour, his muse, his soul?

Gently tracing the contours of the perfect green amber, admiring the spirals that were meant to represent the strongest of bonds, trying desperately to feel the power of the amulet she bares on silver chain…she feels nothing but loss. Her soul has once again been torn to pieces, shattered by lies she once again allowed to penetrate her solid stone wall.

He draws the potent smoke in from his pipe, hearing a muted plea from somewhere almost a thousand miles away. Rather than acknowledging the call, he takes another pull and gazes through the window upon the grounds of his palace. Fear intrudes upon what used to be a wild escape, the hunt, the chase and finally the capture of the daughter of the Dark Raven Queen. The lies he told, the webs he gently weaved, becoming confident in his webs, as he’d escaped exposure for many years. Now, he finally faced her, his bride, from whom he’d sought refuge in the hearts and dreams of so many others, she had unearthed his vile little collection of broken hearts and tortured souls.

And yet, in the wakes of the truth discovered, she sits alone with a silent prayer to the Goddess that she could still somehow be his muse, that what she’s found, what her soul always feared, couldn’t possibly be. Silence continues to ring out, the ties that bound no longer there, the girl knows that hope is lost, lies have become truths, and she was nothing but another pretty face stashed away in his collection of so many others, exactly like her. Not only had she bared her soul, but she had freely given it to him. Her heart, trust, dreams and body…all for him, to feed upon freely, to rebuild what she had become to believe was a broken and beaten man, left empty and pained by years of neglect and abuse. She hasn’t been the only one, the place by his side had not solely been hers, and in this realization, she breaks, sobs rip through her body and her spirit cannot absorb the pain and she laments the destruction of her precious walls that he had so fervently torn down…she knows now that she must begin to rebuild, and more solid now than ever before.

He is seething anger as he comes to find that they’ve spoken…two of his secret conquests had broken down and shared truths, shared the lies he spewed, uncovered that he’d uttered the same words, professed the same undying, soul sharing love to each of them. They were not completely unique to him, only two more precious gems to stash away in his hidden lair…the lair his bride had finally discovered. He continues to ignore the plea from the girl in the cave…

She has decided to let it be, she knows his anger is piqued because she broke her vow of silence. She had consorted with the one he’d named a demon, and in doing so, found all the answers to the questions he’d refused to acknowledge. Deep within her she holds fast to the vow she has now made with herself, to let him go, let him fester in his stinking pile of shit. Yet, even deeper still, she knows she will give him a chance. If he accepts her cry, recognizes her call, she knows she will let him speak, let him vomit out all the lies, and prays that he will finally tell her the truth, for in that deepest of places, she still wants to belong to him. She STILL believes she can be his saviour and muse… She cannot remove the entrancing jewels, she needs to bare the amulet on silver chain, for even though she knows the truth, she still wants to believe in an undying, star crossed, soul binding love…silly girl.

He sits on his throne, fear invades his every thought as he watches his palace crumble, the lush lands blacken and his bride heaves venomous and well deserved hatred at his heart and mind…but not his soul, for such a creature cannot truly have a soul. Without thought, without care and most certainly without love, he lets the girl sit alone in her cave, wondering, waiting and dying from the inside out.

Y.E.S 2013

Broken

My body reverberates
From the pounding in my chest
A ceaseless, relentless reminder
That I will forever remain broken.

Moments captured forever
On the verge of truly being
I do not wish to question
But my spirit makes me ask.

I want to dwell within you
In that space we seem to share
But the pounding in my skull
Defeats my efforts.

I felt illuminated by your being
I emerged from the dark
I haven’t felt alone like this
Since before our worlds collided.

Doubt returns, fear sets in
What was once so close
Is now pulling further away
And my hearts breaks…
…before it could ever truly be mended.

Y.E.S 2012

Release

I left a shadow of myself on that beach, a darkness I once knew as light. Under a sky that seemed a universe away I knew this would be the final goodbye. I thought that when this moment came, my soul would literally be turned inside out and my heart would be rendered useless. Yet, under that foreign sky, feet immersed in foreign sand, lips pressed to an upturned bottle of false courage, I unleashed the truth and bled dry tears of anguish…I let you go and set me free and now I walk an unworn path as freely as before I knew you.

Y.E.S 2012

Remembering

To the Summerlands you travel,
With the fire you lived, you now ride out,
The next phase of your journey has now begun.

You’ve taught as you learned…
Inspired as you lived…
Loved as you as were loved.

The wind now carries you,
The sparks of your flame ignited in us all,
As you make your journey through the veil.

The Great Mother now holds you in her embrace,
As your spirit travels to comfort us all,
Tears do flow though they need not be shed.

A life lived without vain,
A life lived with passion,
A life lived with soul.

On gusts of wind your spirit travels swiftly,
Still touching the lives and hearts of us all,
Father, grandfather, husband, brother, friend.

An inspiration…The Mother’s Child…from The Earth you rose and to the heaven’s you soar.
Blessed Be on this next phase of your travels.

Rest well…your journey was lived in perfect love.

Grandfather, confidant, friend.

Y.E.S 2012

 

Soul Preying Coward

You narcissistic coward,
Your veiled string of lies
carried forever on the edge of reality
has given away the truth to your existence.

Balanced carefully in between
your near perfect game of disillusionment and my reality,
You tried to use your wretched soul
to pull me completely under.

Your ignorance to your own ignorance
was my key to enlightenment…
…so many perfect faces
for one so exquisitely fucked up.

I knew you, and now I know you,
We all do:
Your deceptions will continue,
You will live on…
You survive by feasting on our weakened spirit.

I purge you absolutely…
But there are days in which I wallow with my own knowledge
of nearly being defeated.

Y.E.S 2009

I, Alone

I’m out of my head
When you’re in my mind
The madness persists
The questions ensue
Who exactly am I, to you?

I’m out of time
When I ponder the space
The longing to exist
The desire to be
Who exactly am I, without we?

I’m against the wall
When my hands are tied
The impending loss
The fear of end
Who exactly am I, regret?

I’m inside my head
When you’re in my mind
The dream so real
The feelings, to bone
But who exactly am I, alone?

Y.E.S 2013

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